Who is She?
by TardisRose23
Summary: Rose is seriously injured after the greatest day of her life. She feels she can no longer give the Doctor everything he wants. In her mind, there is only one option. WARNING: Mentions of suicide attempt. *one shot* rating lowered slightly :).


A/N: All AU. Some parts have been done before but I just needed things to be that way for my purposes. :D First Doctor Who story and first published story in a very very long time. :D

Warning: Mentions of suicide attempt albeit with regeneration as an end result.

Present Day:

Her hands trembled as she held the razor in front of her face. One swipe. One deep cut that would end it all, her pain, her torment, the body that had turned itself against her. She turned her wrist over and with her other hand slowly brought the sharp blade down. Just then, the Doctor walked into their shared en suite.

"Rose, STOP!"

Two months earlier:

The Doctor stood at the controls of the TARDIS with a gleam in his eyes. After the events involving the DoctorDonna and the metacrisis, Rose had refused to stay in the parallel world. Unbeknownst to anyone else at the time, she could not be with the metacrisis, just as the Doctor had not been able to be with her previously. 10.2 couldn't give her forever. He would slowly age and die and she could not. Ever so slowly, Bad Wolf had changed her into a Time Lord, or Lady; she still didn't know if they had differentiated the title on Gallifrey. Soon after, they had resettled on the TARDIS. Rose had given the Doctor everything he could ever have hoped for, her secret, her forever. Now, he was going to cater to her formerly human self and ask her to marry him.

He took her to Zephyria, a quiet resort planet where they could just rest, relax, and the third R, be romantic. Maybe even the ever so clichéd picnic by a gentle river, bending down on one knee and popping the one question every girl wants to hear one day.

The Doctor pressed a button, pulled a lever, and after the pair of them falling to the floor unceremoniously due to his famous landing skills, opened the doors to his intended destination and led Rose outside, not immediately noticing the puff of smoke that began to billow out from the console. As usual, Rose stepped out and drank in the beautiful scene before her. She wasn't kidding on New Earth, she could never get tired of feeling a new planet beneath her feet. The Doctor led her a few hundred metres away from the TARDIS and began laying out the blanket. Rose sat down on it as he as he got out the amazing spread he had prepared from the basket.

Her eyes widened at the last dish, chips! Most amazing, the chips were still steaming hot and crispy; not even remotely soggy or cold! Rose immediately dug into them, moaning about how amazing they were, making sounds the Doctor usually preferred to hear behind closed doors.

They settled down and began a relaxed conversation about anything and everything. Rose imagined her brother Tony's first day of preschool and how much fun he was probably having. The Doctor imagined the look of terror on Tony's teacher's face when she realized she would be dealing with Jackie Tyler for an entire year; which earned him a light-hearted slap from Rose. The Doctor chose that moment to pull a box out from the basket, get down on his knee and asked Rose to marry him.

Of course Rose accepted. Although, he thought, she never actually said yes. Just jumped up and down screaming with her had stretched out, while the Doctor attempted to put the ring on the right finger. They stared at each other in silence after that, letting their perfect moment truly sink in. That is, until they heard a gunshot ring out. The Doctor barely had time to register what had happened when he looked at Rose again, only to see her eyes glazed over and unfocused. He grabbed her as she sank to the ground losing consciousness, noting the hole in her back where her life source was freely exiting.

Present Day:

The Doctor had done everything in his power to save her life, even though he had found the TARDIS to be nearly lifeless itself. Rose and the Doctor were stuck on the planet as Rose fought for her life for nearly three weeks, waking up a little over a month ago and finding to their worst fears, she was paralyzed from the waist down. As they were still "hopefully temporarily" stranded, he couldn't "fix" her.

Depression didn't take long to set in. Would the Doctor still want her when she could no longer walk; when their entire relationship began with the word, "Run?" Lying alone in the bedroom of the house she was sharing with the Doctor, realization dawned on her. She was a Time something or other now. Although she had luckily never had the chance to test the theory, as a Time Lord/Lady, she should be able to regenerate. If she died, maybe her next incarnation's body would be whole. Then she and the Doctor could continue saving all of time and space.

The Doctor had stepped out to get them some dinner, so she knew she had at least an hour. To Rose, there was no other way. She had to do this to save their relationship and lifestyle that they both loved. She couldn't do that with legs that didn't work. Heaving her body into Zephyria's version of a wheelchair (hover chair?) she took herself into the ensuite bathroom. As it was only really her second solo attempt at moving herself, she was almost proud of her accomplishment. She shook her head at the thought and got back to the task at hand, ending her life. Even if it didn't work, if she didn't regenerate, she was sure the Doctor would be better after without her being a burden.

At that moment, the Doctor walked back into the house. He reached over to the table next to the door and grabbed his credit stick that he had forgotten. "Rose?" he began when he felt something was off. Not receiving an answer, he ran down the hallway yelling for her. When he reached the bathroom, he body slammed the door, cracking it to gain entrance. He caught sight of Rose bringing the blade down to her wrist.

"Rose! STOP!" The sound of the doctor yelling and breaking into the room caused her to startle. She accidently nicked herself as he ran over to her. "What on Gallifrey are you thinking Rose?" He felt as though he had been kicked in the gut. Things were apparently so bad for her that she didn't feel that she could come to him? "Why didn't you say anything love? If you were feeling upset about the accident or something I've been doing, all you have to do is tell me! You mean everything to this old Time Lord."

Rose hung her head in shame, tears pouring down her face for really the first time since she was shot. How could she explain her thoughts when they were really messed up even to her? "I-I-well, I was afraid once you got the TARDIS fixed, you wouldn't want me anymore, at least not this me. I thought that maybe since I've become more Time Lordish than human, maybe I would be able to regenerate like you. Maybe my next body could walk, no run around the universe like we always have. That's how we are! How you are! What could you possibly want with this me, when my body has betrayed us so much!"

In her anguish, the Doctor reached out and pulled her into his embrace. "Even if I never saw another planet, another time, or you take even one more step, you Rose Tyler, are all that matters to me! Yes, I know, better than anyone, that you would still be you after regeneration, but there is never any reason to force it. Besides, I'm not ready to give up this beautiful smile."

Rose grinned as he continued his diatribe about how perfect she was, legs that moved or not. She also realized that maybe there was a time or place out there that might be able to help her. She hadn't even asked the Doctor. The more she thought about it, though, everything in life that happened helped to define and shape who she was as a being in time and space. Maybe, just maybe, she was already whole. Whole and definitely loved.

The Doctor bandaged her wrist up. "Come on Rose, we have a lot to talk about and this planet has a version of chips you will go mad for!"

Rose grinned. "Race ya!"


End file.
